My Birthday
I have two birthday's. The first one was 33 years ago today. I'm excited to be alive and thankful for all the great gifts that I have been given.
The second one is March 3, 1999. This is the day I became a Christian. I have always known of Christ all my life. I knew what he taught, I knew the timeline of his life from church, and that he was coming back someday. But I never had a real relationship with him until the end of 1998. 1998 was not a very good year for me. It was filled with heart-ache, disappointment, confusion, anger, and great sadness. There were moments when I had to force myself to breathe. There were moments when I begged to fall asleep so that I could escape from this world only to be tortured by my dreams. No amount of work, or detailed house cleaning, or long walks in the desert, or empty relationships could fill the God-size whole in my soul. I had finally come to the end of myself. One night, I could no longer stand under the weight of sin and despair. I fell to my knees and begged God to love me and make me new, to wash me clean, and let me start again. I cannot fully explain the immense peace and calm that washed over me instantaneously. The pain was gone and in place of emptiness I found hope. Each day was better than the last. The most amazing part was experiencing my soul healing from the past. I was free to forgive myself and others. My intense anger and bitterness and jealousy melted away and was replaced with compassion and love and mercy. My old nature was fading away while the new me began to shine.
I was baptized on March 3 and my life has been amazing ever since. I have seen God work many miracles in my life. There was one time when it was the very last day of the month and I needed to make exactly $117 in tips so that I could make rent on time. I can remember saying a prayer and telling God my need and that I didn't think it was possible because it was one of the slower days of the week. At the end of my shift, after paying the house and tipping out I had exactly $117! Can you imagine my glee! I have seen God work in other peoples lives to and transform them in astonishing ways. I still make mistakes, I am human after all. I am not perfect-yet, but I am forgiven. And that makes all the difference!
No comments:
Post a Comment