Job Search

It isn't like I haven't tried. I've filled out no less than 7 applications for jobs. Each application takes around 2 hours to complete, including a personality profile test, which by the way I'll never find out on how well or bad I did.

I think that part of it is down right fear. I have these nightmares. All. The. Time. And every night they adapt. It's worse than a horror movie. In the first one, I'm in a house in my pj's and class is about to begin but everything is dirty, so I start cleaning. Kids eventually show up, I change in the hallway into some more presentable clothes but I still smell, and then I try to teach except I don't know their names, or how many kids are suppose to be there or how long the class period is. The bell rings and this goes on for like 7 classes. The last class is filled with 100% LD kids but I've been given no IEP or para. They start to act like wild animals and I wake up. So I tell myself that it's okay because when I start to teach I'll actually take showers and come to school in clothes that I dress myself in at home and that classes will usually run for 60-90 minutes. I go to sleep the next night and its the middle of the semester and I don't know a single name and they're acting like wild animals and not listening at all and then I wake up. I tell myself that its okay because I'll start at the beginning of the school year and have a list of names and will be able to lay out the rules from the very beginning. I go to sleep the next day and this time its the beginning of the school year but I can't find the roster of student names, they begin to act like wild animals so I put in a movie. An administrator walks in and is dumbfounded as to why I would be playing a movie on the first day of school. I go to a cabinet to find something more creative and its filled with blankets. In a panic, I wake up. I tell myself, its okay because on the first day of school I'll have a plan. So as you've probably already guessed, I go to sleep the next night and its the first day of school, I find a list of names, I start to teach from my lesson only that the lesson takes only 10 minutes of a 90 minute class. They start to act like wild animals and I wake up. I tell myself that its okay because I'll have a back up plan. Once again I dream the previous dream, the lesson ends to early and this time I decide to open up the text book to teach straight from. Only I have an American history book and all the kids have World history books. This time I wake up and throw up.

So with this on my mind I search the 7 school districts in my area to see what job openings are available. Some days there are quite a few. Today there were none. Some of the jobs slipped through my fingers because I failed to apply in time. I'm not sure why I procrastinated other than I was crippled by fear and lack of a good nights sleep. Others just disappeared without a phone call. I could speculate as to why but that kind of thinking will only drive me crazy. I called my university to find out what's going on with my credential file only to find out that I'm missing 2 letters of recommendation from my previous teachers. I've been out of school for 7 months now. Needless to say, it sucks contacting people 7 months later to remind them to send a letter so that I can get a job. School districts out here pretty much don't look at your application unless the credential file is attached. Only the university can send my file and it can't be sent until all 3 letters are there. The first day of school starts on August 6th for teachers. I'm kind of running out of time.

So I'm stuck.

In the mean time I'm reviewing all my history books because I have 2 more content tests to take on July 21. I thought that I would kill two birds with one stone so I scheduled each test back to back. Each test takes two hours. The first one starts at 7:30 am, the second one at 10:30. The testing center is located no less than 30 minutes away in good traffic. I'm brilliant, I know. I have two degrees to prove it. By noon on July 21st my brain will be leaking directly from my ears. And if I pass then I'll finally have my license to teach in this state.

I think its safe to say that I'm just a little stressed.

Oh, and then I got my financial aide statement today. Apparently, by the 24th of July I'm to make a payment of no less than $624 to the Department of Education. I haven't laughed so hard in God knows how long. It's probably the second time in my life I have given a piece of paper the middle finger.